Sitting in my Mind

How long have I been here, churning through my thoughts which ground away my resolve? When did it start? Ah, she said boo and I shut down to be alone with my familiar self-destructive thoughts. She wasn’t aware because I didn’t want her to know that she scared me. I didn’t want me to know that she could scare me. My body was unimpressed with all of it and screamed to be let out. I wasn’t listening.